[ P.S: I have been having problems with the font size and also spacing so please bear with me, am working on it]
It’s my birthday people,new year and new age for me,am both happy and sad all at the same time,Lol,i cant help but shout *Damn,people I am growing old* and I haven’t accomplished most of the goals I set ….I remember five years ago I had my life all figured out,I knew what job I wanted,what type of man I needed in my life and I definitely knew when I was going to settle down..Years later..,Here I am…..sometimes I just smile seeing how ambitious I was haha
Wait a minute…before y’all become “Judge Judy” on me lemme set the record straight,I am grateful for everything bestowed on me Alhamdulillah and InshaAllah I know everything will come to pass if Allah wills,so not complaining at all.
Anyways back to ambition, I remember back in 2014,I was working for a certain media house and come to when the contract was being signed and they told me a ridiculous amount of pay they were to give me for my services and there I stood thinking,I am much better than this and I knew I cannot settle for anything less than what I had expected so the guy I was negotiating with came straight up and said*Nas,don’t you think you are so ambitious?…He made it sound like being ambitious was a felony.I got so irritated by his remark,I automatically switched off to defence mode and I was like “don’t you guys see my worth? Am I such a shady worker that you see I deserve such a miserable amount of pay? For a couple of months,I was depressed till I realized overthinking the situation wasn’t helping the situation either.
I used to think, if things didn’t go my way then I was definitely doing something wrong somewhere and I needed a bunch of people to approve my worth and capabilities,yes you can say I was the *tell me am good type*…trust me it happens to the best of the best and that my people doesn’t make you weak or incapable it only means you are human and once in a while our weaknesses discerns itself to the world,so once that happens don’t falter just allow yourself to break down…it’s therapeutic,…works for me,so I am sure it will work for you too,..Word of advice though just don’t dwell on the failure lest it consumes all your energy.Meanwhile from that ordeal i learnt to not settle for less just because so and so said so.
If you know me on a personal level then you know I am a care-freak and the slightest mean comment puts me down,sometimes I even don’t realize it affected me much ,I guess it just hits my subconscious mind and decides to lay low for a couple of days haha then something else triggers it and finally awakens the sleeping devil and the whole situation turns out to tissues and a bowl of tears.
I am a human sponge for heavens sake and I cant change that so I will continue to care,it’s in my DNA so don’t tell me to not care,tried it once,and I was the heartless bitch on the block that you never wanna come across,Lol, I was one bitter one I tell you and it was soooooo frustrating,that was the day I discovered being a bitch requires aloooooot of work…..Hell to the freaking no! didn’t have the energy for that….so I dropped it and here we are honey boos…Hating and being mean 24/7 is like being in a constant battle with the world and we all know its the latter that wins such battles…So yea,I guess being bitter will never be in my bucket list.
This is PROBABLY THE HARDEST THING EVER FOR ME. For years I would try to control the outcome of family drama, friendships, work, etc. This year I’ve realized that ‘it is, what it is’. Me trying to control the situation & change people into something they’re not is counterproductive & pointless. It’s a waste of breath. People are who they are. This year I’ve become more accepting…especially because you never know the whole story. People are set in their ways for their own reasons so I realized I couldn’t change the people around me and I definitely didn’t wanna change my nature so I decided to just ignore anything negative by constantly reminding myself of the good things in my life..although its hard especially when the negativity is too much to handle.You are told worrying is like a rocking chair,it gets you nowhere,so this year Nasra will try not to mount the rocking chair however tempting it will get.
Avoid and stay away from drama and anyone who harbors such symptoms i.e friends,relationships,
colleagues in short people who strive to make everything so ambiguous in life..such people are like worms,they are always there to cause fracas and confusion in your life so yea,let go of any exhausting relationship…..trust me I know a bunch of you concur with the fact that there are a lot of tiring relationships that just drain both your physical and psychological self…..so kindly let go ….this year Nasra ain’t dealing with such….
Help anyone who needs my help…that’s my priority this year InshaAllah,…am tired of every year saying when I get enough money I’ma do this and that,lol,and i cant seem to get enough money,SMH,..such a typical Human….so this year I will try my best to touch a bunch of souls InshaAllah,you never know when DEATH will come calling,so just do it,besides its just an act of kindness and it requires as little as just a smile and that my darling goes a loooong way,trust me.
Strive for the hereafter,make your Lord the priority in every journey you embark on,trust me just try it ,it will be much easier.And as my saying goes Never Gamble with your Creator ,if you cant resist it just try gambling with the mortals that way you know the repercussion is a bit easier hehe.
Loyalty has always and will always be key in my life.. My lovely siblings I love you till eternity,and I thank Allah for you,my parents,my gram’z dont know where I will be without you. Double infinity love is all I can say..To my lovely close pals(you know yourselves) thank you for always being there to listen to my drama-filled life, Y’all are my thunder buddies,and rest assured I will continue being loyal no matter the weather thank you for loving me too,I know Ican be a piece of work at times,not forgetting a huge chunk of a puzzle,Gracias Muchos dolls.
After taking all that into account…lol…Piano tiles is my new found love for as long as it takes,I’ma play you till I grow old honey, we united as one,yours forever and ever till death do us part love,..
Hope i inspired a bunch of you guys with this ‘novel-like’ tribute,i get wordy when i am excited so bear with me….Enjoy the rest of your day as i am enjoying my New Age… #ciao
To my lovely readers,thank you for the love and support:) I appreciate you all.
Love and Love….xx